its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
