based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
