This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
