Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
