Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
