I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
