Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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