The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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