Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
