in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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