Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
