he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
