they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
why do cheetos always look like penises
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
