Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
