He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
it was like eating out sand paper
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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