what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We left the knife in your bed.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
