shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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