Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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