If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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