Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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