We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
