i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
