THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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