Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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