I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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