I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
