sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
