yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
