it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
