That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
