Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
