so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
