Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
