A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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