All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
