Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
