I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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