Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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