He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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