that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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