Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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