What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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