I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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