Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
