i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
