I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
