I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
