it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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