That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
