Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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