so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
