I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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