that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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