There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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