Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
