Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
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