THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
