idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
