I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
