And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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