Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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