On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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