I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just want to make out with him forever
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize