his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
