He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
