Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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