I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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