She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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