Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
