Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
