I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
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