ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
one two three fourrrrnication!
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
