my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
