You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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