im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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