Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
How external is "for external use only"?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
