guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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