Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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