Soap is not a condiment
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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